There I was, game in hand, exiting my local Best Buy store after a lengthy inner debate. My mind was weary, I had slaved over whether to buy Assassins Creed 2 for $40, or Alan Wake for $60. Now, with the former in hand, I was eager to race home to engage in historical stabbing. Suddenly the air became still, I could sense all movement slow to a crawl around me. My car, a mere couple feet from my key-in-hand, slid away from me as dread raced my spine.

A cheerfully energetic 20-something hailed me in the parking lot. After a few initial questions (probably to consider whether or not I was a rapist), she asked to have a longer conversation inside my car. I obliged because, after all, it had been ages since I shared such beautiful company without them being bound & gagged.

Her: “I’m in a Public Speaking class and our assignment is to approach total strangers. It’s so we can get used the social challenges that’d help prepare us for talking to groups of people.”

[She asks about my interests, I insert some humor into my responses, she laughs and says I'm awesome, etc]
[She explains that the points she earns talking to strangers go toward a contest. The grand reward is a trip to Fiji. She then takes out a big card containing items with varying point values]

Her: “You pick out what magazine subscriptions you’re interested in, and then I put them on this sales order, and at the end of the day I get the points printed next to the ones you pick. Heh, earlier some guy bought *10* of them, but it’s totally cool if you don’t–”

[My puzzled look catches her attention]

Her: “Did you have a question?”
Me: “Sorry, I guess I’m confused as to how magazine subscriptions relate to public speaking…”
Her: “Oooh, no problem. They’re to show proof that I actually talked to the people I approached.– but yeah, don’t feel pressured to get 10 subscriptions like that other guy.”

[She continues on for a bit, then takes out a small receipt/form thing and asks for my address & full name. She writes my first name but before I give her anything further, I pause things]

Me: “I want to think this over at home before buying anything… (jokingly) I’m pretty indecisive”
Her: “Ah sorry, the thing is- you have to order now. It’s how it works; my rules are to get orders on the spot”
Me: “I don’t like making rushed decisions, I’d only consider buying something if I can think it over on my own terms.”
Her: “But.. (pause).. I already have your name on this receipt. I lose points for voiding. Look, just getting ONE magazine will avoid setting me back and you’d only have to pick one. Can’t you pick one?”
Me: “Sorry, I can’t do this. I-”
Her: (cutting me off) “You want to help me, right? I really want to go to Fiji..”
Me: “No. Sorry.”
Her: (dropping the act. Not angry, but not friendly now) “Fine. I’m really sorry to have disturbed you. If anybody else from my class approaches you, just… tell them you don’t want to be bothered and not to waste your time.”
[She packs up her sale papers and whatnot, adding similar comments]
Me: “Do you try to put guilt trips on /everybody/ that doesn’t buy your magazines?”
Her: (jaw drops, then says) “If you’re feeling guilty, that’s on you. It’s nothing I did.”
[She steps out of the car]
Me: “Good luck. (sarcastically) Have a nice day!”